IF I were (still) a stupid girl….
So he’s “clean”, going to therapy, working, doing all the things a proper father at 30 years old should be doing and he thinks it’s time we “talk”. I’m going to say No to that one.
What he seems to forget so easily is that what he did was done sober. It was done while watching our baby because I had been up for days because she didn’t sleep at night. This one incident was done while I thought he was being a great partner and allowing me rest. It was done while our baby played on the floor with her toys in the middle of the night. It was done without a drop of that excuse in his system. And, it was illegal.
His exact words were that he never put me first before, but now (NOW) he’s ready. I have to laugh a little at this. HE’S ready. What about me? I waited 3 years. I tip-toed around for 3 years hoping I could be the girl he wanted one day. I altered myself in a way that I lost a huge part of who I was. I am not going to allow that to happen again.
I’m not going to lie and say it’s easy to tell him to fuck off. He’s poison to me. He has always had a way of talking his way back into my head. For a second I almost cracked. Almost.
Today I’m still free, and that’s an accomplishment. My heart is happy.